Twas the day of Hydration, two days before Sea Queens and the weekend before the start of ATI and the gyms were filled with expectation. All one could hear was the clinging, clashing of weights as pecs and shoulders were pushed to their maxim. At the stores the sound of breath escaping clenched lips were audible as credit cards pushed to their limits did not decline this time!
Now let us be clear as we said last year, as admirers of beauty, this is not the Principal’s Office nor are we Deans of Discipline for that matter. As such in this our 2011 Summer Hot List Edition we will not be handing out demerits for bad behaviour (in fact, in our estimation a little naughty is a good thing!). Further, we will not pander to those who would want us to intellectualize this experience by trying to develop objective criteria to assess beauty, nor will we go down the route of developing weights and measures. Rather we will take the high ground and follow the time honoured carnal tradition of letting our “other head” do the thinking, it has served us well over the years and in fact our only criterion for selection is identifying the hottest bodies on the beach this year.
10. Last Years’ Number 10 is again this year’s Number 10, the Clown Prince of Facebook. Now here is a character that is known for his frequent Facebook travels to Canada but ironically doesn’t know what NMIA means or where one may find the airport. However, to be fair he is a jetsetter and as such his PEOPLE deal with those logistical matters. The rumour is that he has taken to a religious exercise regimen at the gym but whereas his membership has been verified by several persons they will only testify to his ORAL WORKOUTS!
9. The Big Mack, the former Vicar of St. Andrew and Kingston’s new Consular General to the North Coast. Now seriously this fellow needs no introduction or long winded description, but if Texaco was giving away frequent driver miles he would have qualified several times over. We will admit that we considered this fellow a committed Bachelor; however, events have proven how WRONG WE WERE!
8. Dr. Goodbody. This brother is a pocket Hercules with his bulging bisceps, large chests, soldier like shoulders and perky cheeks (not the facial ones). He is genuinely one of those persons that it is hard to find an awful thing to say about. Yet we all know: where two or more gays are gathered there shall the bitterness be, so we await the person that can dish up some scandalous dirt on this one! For us, at this juncture we note that It’s a good thing he is certified to write the prescription for heart failure you will need when you meet him.
7. Miss Lashy. He is known to have an eye for the finer things in life and this includes his taste in clothes and men as well as choice of vacation spots. He is heavily invested and committed to maintaining his slim, svelte profile and model good lucks. A good friend that is willing to share the last of what he has with his closest friends and associates. However, his determination to not being perceived a hypocrite and penchant for political discourse earns him his nick name. It is as if he has never heard the saying A silent answer turneth away wrath.
6. The Lord Ambassador. Yup we have taken notice of the new gym body which complements the highly developed sense of style. Here is a fellow that knows his Gucci from Goosey yet understands the finer art of bargain shopping in the far flung regions of the world. A high rolling hotstepper, who only flys BUSINESS CLASS!!