Dear Counselor


Dear Counselor,

I am a Young Christian male. The problem is I am also gay. How do I reconcile being a Christian and being gay with what my church teaches?

Christian Freak…

Dear Christian Freak,

Unfortunately, many Christians who are gay or Gays who are Christian experience this dilemma. And they should not have to because the teachings of scripture should supersede the dogma of any denomination (unfortunately the twain are not always synonymous).

If it is true that a person receives salvation (or God’s favour) based on grace and not works (Ephesians 2:8-9), then it matters not what a person does or does not [do]. Since salvation was not gained through works it cannot be maintained through works either. The question is then, since goodness qualified no man, how does “badness” disqualify any?

Furthermore, the concept of justification dispels the myth that by virtue of one’s sexuality, one is disqualified from salvation. Justification is a legal term, which means the accused [aka sinner] is declared innocent or acquitted from all charges. But the concept also speaks of a make-up… knowing that humans can never meet his standard of holiness/perfection, God gives us a make-up or “brawta” and then declares us innocent. To then turn around and prosecute us on any charge of sin would be double jeopardy (a legal impossibility).

 Lastly, God is Spirit and they that worship God must do so in Spirit and in truth. The lesson here is that Spirit transcends human limitation of gender assignment. God therefore communicates with us on a spiritual level but God also expects people to come as they are (True to whom they are). Take into account Isaiah’s experience in Chapter 6 of the book of Isaiah. He encountered God and said “God mi does cuss bad word and everybody else rung meh does cuss too” Consequently, God’s action towards him was not punitive but embracing. Look also at Jesus’ response to the sex worker who came to him with her alabaster box of perfume and massaged him. His concerned was not about who she had sex with but where her heart was.

It is either we are saved by grace (meaning we nuh affi do nottin’) or by works (meaning there is a list of things we must and must not do) but it cannot be both.

That said, faith and sexuality can be reconciled but as far as your local church goes, it is up to you to decide if you want to stay there. They may never accept you for your sexuality but God does.


If you have any questions for our resident counsellor. Please feel free to email him your questions at or check out his blog space at


2 thoughts on “Dear Counselor

  1. It is nice to see this addition to your site. As a Chrsitian gay man myself, I have some concerns about your response. It fails to strike the balalnce that t obviously sought to achieve. While I agree that we are justified by faith and saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8 -9), verse 10says that we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works. whcihc God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

    Later in Ephesians, Paul take stime out to make the point that works are important if we say that we are in CHrist. See Chapter 4:25 – 32.

    My word to Christian Freak: God does not condemn you for having a homosexual orentatiion. And, while I wish the Bible did not condemn homosexual ACTS (not the orientation), I am convinv=ced that it does. The word to the Christian whohas same gender attraction: Abstinence. That is a tough pill to swallow. But that is the way to go.

    Blessed love brothers. And thanks for creating this space PINK.

  2. Sorry for taking this long to respond to you, Adam. Let me see how best I can respond to your concerns raised here. We certainly need to understand context when applying any hermeneutic approach to scripture. The point of verse 10 of Ephesians 2 is not to say that good works ensure salvation or justifies anyone (in layman’s terms is not good works dat mek us good). On the contrary, the context will inform us that out of the being [the person; let us say Christian] the doing must flow. So in other words works confirm what has already taken place in us not that works cause that which is salvation to take place (being redundant for the purpose of emphasis).
    Secondly, anyone who approaches the bible with socio-cultural frame of reference will impose same upon scripture. scripture come with its own linguistic, social, political, cultural and situational contexts and those must first be understood and extrapolated before application to our context is made. For example the passage used in Corinthians that supposedly condemns homosexuals, do you know that the word homosexual never existed in the time and the context never spoke to consensual homosexual relationship but rather a form of temple worship in Corinth at the temple of Aphrodite that included temple prostitution in worship to God, which He took offense to and repudiated the practice through Paul.
    Fundamentally, though, with all those peripherals aside, since you agree that salvation is by grace through faith ALONE, then practising homosexuality does not disqualify anyone either. So instead of the practising homosexual feeling guilt and hiding from God as Adam did, s/he might as well come boldly before the throne of grace to find mercy and obtain grace (favor that cannot be worked for or lost through acts of commission) in that time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

    Shalom My Brother.
    Shema Yaweh Eloheinu Yaweh echad!!!

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