Summer’s Hot List

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The list has been completed and the men have been ranked, at the end of the day this truly is a religious experience- as we marvel and revel in the fineries that nature has served us.

Now let us be clear, this is not the Principal’s Office nor are we Deans of Discipline; as such we will not be handing out demerits for bad behaviour (in fact, in our estimation a little naughty is a good thing!). Further, we will not pander to those who would want us to intellectualize this experience by trying to develop objective criteria to assess beauty, nor will we go down the route of developing weights and measures. Rather we will take the high ground and follow the time honoured carnal tradition of letting our “other head” do the thinking, it has served us well over the years and in fact our only criterion for selection is identifying who we want to be rubbing paint on at Beach J’ouvert.

Yet notwithstanding the above it is interesting to note that the gentleman that tops the list is an over 40 year old, and No It Aint Who You All Thinking!!

The Rankings

10. Is the Clown Prince of Facebook, Sir Morton. This is one of Rainbow Society’s most colourful personalities, and truth be told if this was medieval times he would occupy the position of court jester. However, he is the epitome of big, beautiful and masculine and it has to be noted that his face is truly a work of art. Not to be outdone is his hair, as its various styles only seem to add to the Swagger that this Knight commands.

9. Is Our Lady of Haiti, Dr. Molly. Now here is a guy that probably should be ranked higher, but he is such a little goody 2 shoes, that we have to look at him more like a Barbie doll. He has perfect, flawless skin; a smile that makes your heart flutter and a body that bangs more than shots fired by Dudus’s gun. However, if the cost of being UPT is being boring, then this one has certainly paid the price

8. Is Mid-Town’s original RUDE BWOY. Now this character is a strange one, he is easily one of the most intelligent persons one may come across in a lifetime. He speaks, Spanish, French and apparently Portugese and his sense of style is worthy of being studied. However, he is seemingly so caught up with Thug culture and crass and uncouth behavior that we get the feeling he is short changing himself. However, as we noted this is not the Principal’s Office and quite frankly the thug appeal and thug chic he is busy cultivating does give him hotty points.

7. Now we are not quite certain if Cash4Gold is a member of the Sweepstakes Crew. However, once your eyes rest on him, it is almost certainly impossible to not become drunk on how truly attractive he is. Somehow, he manages to have a slim body, a big square head and a full head of hair that would make Hyacinth Bennett jealous and still make it work. Now whilst it is clear he was born a brown boy, we admittedly-cannot vouch that the current tone of his brown was naturally acquired.

6. Is the Baroness von Ensom of the Royal Court of Spanish Town. This courtier’s face is just HU, the body is just AHHHHHHHHHHH, the butt is HU HU HALLELUJAH! In fact there are no words to describe under 35 A-lister, except loud animalistic grunts.

To Be Continued

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